I have been reluctant to talk about whats going on with me for the past few months because I have been facing potential charges of assaulting a superior NCO, disobeying a direct order, and disorderly conduct. Yesterday the case was closed so I feel that its finally alright to talk about most if not all of what I have been going thru. I am not writing this to cause any more issues between myself and my command, only as a point of information for my true friends and family, so that I don’t have to tell everyone one at a time.
First of all I would like to give honor and praise to God because it is thru God that I have been brought through this very rough time in my life, I felt for sure at the beginning of this that I would lose my entire career, or at the very least I would be losing the ability to work as a military paralegal, a job that I absolutely love to do. I made a promise to God to start attending church more if I made it thru this time, and I intend on keeping that promise, I am placing this here so that everyone can keep me on track with that, because again it has been thru Gods grace that I have been able to make it thru.
Ok story time I suppose, as I said above I was accused of doing a lot of things the only one I admit to doing and that I know I was wrong for was disorderly conduct. I did lose my temper that day and pound my fist on a table inside of the housing office as I stormed out of the door. However, everything else I was accused of I still maintain that I did not do. I know that there is a higher power at work here because I know they wanted to crucify me. I know if they ever get wind of this blog it could spell disaster for me, but I feel like this is my space where my thoughts are allowed to flow. This is my therapy, and for the past 5 months I have been unable to sleep and I have been suffering a deep depression the likes of which I wouldn’t place on my worst enemy.
Needless to say while I was only eventually charged with the disorderly conduct, my unit is getting their pound of flesh:
One pound...one ounce at a time
1 oz = being placed in debt to the army for BAH I was authorized to collect (more on this subject later) – this has greatly impacted the savings I acquired while deployed to Iraq.
1 oz = being denied the ability to provide a place for my children to reside when they are with me.
14 oz = the exact number of days of extra duty and restriction I will have to pull to get this event completely behind me.
I will eventually get around to telling the full story about everything that happened, but I want to make sure that I am in a safer place first, because I am very much still in the lions den wearing a large raw steak around my neck. Thank you everyone who has been there to support me from my family and friends to my military family, and anyone else who put their good names on the line to help me in my time of need.
This event has helped to open my eyes to something though, this military life is very fragile and all it takes is a few people to destroy everything that you have worked hard for. I have focused my energy for far to long on improving for an organization that can still take my entire lifestyle away with the stroke of a pen, all because of a personal vendetta. I have discovered that I need to work on something more stable and that no one can take from me without good cause… with that said I will end this with an official announcement.
On 1 January 2010 I will be opening a web graphics/design and consulting business. I have figured that with all the knowledge I have about how the internet works, I should figure out a way to get make some money from that knowledge. I know the way forward will be shaky but I will stay strong in my faith and true to my heart! There will be more to follow at a later date. Thank you again for reading and I look forward to posting about more positive things in the very near future!
I apologize if this was hard to read or even to follow my train of thought, I just was trying to get this off of my chest.. so that I can begin to move forward with my life!
